After-Sex Sadness: ADHD Sex Life

I have never seek help from a psychologist or psychiatrist for my neurological disorder and I have always resulted to finding my answers online.

However, I do hope someday I find the courage to finally get the help I need for my ADHD, but in the meantime, lets go with what I found online.

For some who don’t know, I am a thirty-six year old male coping with my ADHD and throughout my life, I’ve been in two relationships and the last one did not last for more than a month (not my fault though).

Throughout my life dating women, I would say the majority of the unsuccessful chemistry and meaningless one-night-stands was because of me. Or I should say, my ADHD.

After meeting these women and having intimacy, I later tend to be very distant or lost…

In the beginning, there would be a lot to talk about – goals, past history, future endeavors, and usually would lead to the topic of being a couple. When things are starting to progress and of course through time of getting to know each other, we get intimate…

The part after sex is what is very challenging for me and I always thought to myself that, if she is the “one” for me, then I will not have these negative feelings towards her after coitus.

Boy, was my theory wrong or what…

How ADHD Affect Sex Drive

I later start to feel irritable, lost, and sad. I even feel “disgusted” and ask myself, “what have I done?” and the fight-or-flight mode starts to activate. What I hate the most about the rise of these feelings is that I make the woman feel used

Most of the women I have history with all thought I was using them for sex, but of course that’s not the reason. It’s the ADHD.

I’ve always thought that I am not meant to be in a relationship and perhaps that I am a possible sex-addict (but I’m not) and only see women as a sex object.

The endless questions and thoughts of “why do I feel like that after sex?” and “why do I feel like running away from them after sex?” lead me to the one and only solution: Google Search.

“Post-coital Tristesse”

I came upon a couple articles that lead me to understanding why I feel the way I feel after sex and after reading it, I start to feel relieved, but also felt like a worthless person knowing that I want to curl up into a ball in a dark corner and cry after sex.

The reason for this post is that I am recently seeing someone and we have a lot chemistry and I don’t want this to happen to her, but eventually I know it will. At least this time, I told her about my ADHD and how it can affect me with starting a relationship with someone. I showed her these articles to also get a better understanding on what she will be witnessing as our relationship progress.

Hopefully this can help other people who have similar struggles with ADHD.

Thank you for reading!

 

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